How I Unmasked a Covert Narcissist

Author

Faraz Ali
June 04, 2024

As I reflect on my encounters with a covert narcissist, I realize that my ability to see through his facade was rooted in my intuition and observation skills. Our connection began online, and for four years, our interactions were limited to texting. I viewed him as an online friend, but he had other intentions. When we finally met in person, the red flags became apparent.

He was desperate for admiration and constantly sought ego strokes. His insecurity and anxiety were palpable, and he often made negative remarks about himself. He would fish for compliments and compare himself to me, seeking validation. His self-doubt was evident, and he was quick to criticize others.

I sensed his intense self-consciousness and perceived flaws, which he assumed I was also fixated on. He was consumed by his own negativity and judged himself harshly. I called him out on his behavior, and he would become defensive and play the victim.

His attempts to manipulate me were transparent, and I refused to be controlled. He would push for feedback and become frustrated when I didn't provide the desired response. His inability to tolerate the word "no" was evident, and he would grow petty and nasty when I declined his requests.

Despite his attempts to deceive and manipulate, I remained vigilant. I taught him table manners and witnessed his childish behavior. His eyes, once vibrant, became sunken and devoid of life. I sensed his fragility and pain, but his gamesmanship made me wary.

Our dynamic was a delicate balance of power, with me intercepting his moves and flipping the script. I eventually realized that I was investing too much energy into outsmarting him and decided to distance myself.

My experience with this covert narcissist taught me the importance of trusting my instincts and observing behavior. While he was troubled and fragile, I refused to be drawn into his toxic patterns. I emerged victorious, but also aware of the devastation narcissists can cause. My story serves as a reminder to prioritize self-awareness and set boundaries against those who seek to manipulate and control.

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